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Albert Brooks Quotes





Bullfights are hugely popular because you can sit comfortably with a hot dog and possibly watch a man die. It won't be me, but I can sit comfortably and watch it.
 

Even if you didn't see the movie, you'd see two words you'd never seen put together before - comedy and Muslim. Comedy is friendly - it's the least offensive word in our language.
 

I come from the place where I am thinking 'I have put my blood on the pages.'
 

I was in Kashmir last weekend. Went to visit one of my sweaters.
 

I'd still like to see 'Survivor' minus the planned show-biz parts. That would be the purest form of show business - I want to see someone so hungry that they eat somebody else's foot.
 

I'm not interesting enough on my own that you'd want to see a film about me.
 

If anything happens to me, tell every woman I've ever gone with I was talking about her at the end. That way, they'll have to reevaluate me.
 

If we had 3 million exhibitionists and only one voyeur, nobody could make any money.
 

It's better to be known by six people for something you're proud of than by 60 million for something you're not.
 

When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.