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Ambrose Bierce Quotes


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Sabbath, n. A weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.
[Sabbath]
 

Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
 

Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
 

Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forgo.
 

Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
 

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
[Anger]
 

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.
 

Success, n. The one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
[Success]
 

Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized.
 

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
 

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
[Technology]
 

That sovereign of insufferables.
 

The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
 

The covers of this book are too far apart.
 

The echo of a platitude.
[Applause]
 

The future is that period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured.
 

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
[Business]
 

The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
 

The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.
 

The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.
 


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