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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

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Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.

Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision.

Cynicism is that blackguard defect of vision which compels us to see the world as it is, instead of as it should be.

Dawn, n. The time when men of reason go to bed. Certain old men prefer to rise at about that time, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach, and otherwise mortifying the flesh.

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.

Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.

Defenseless, adj. Unable to attack.

Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

Destiny, n: a tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship.

Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.

Doubt is the father of invention.

Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.

Duty - that which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.

Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.

Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

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