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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

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Philanthropist: a rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

Philosophy, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

Piracy, n: commerce without its folly-swaddles - just as God made it.

Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost.

Politeness , n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Politics, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.

Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

Quotation, n. The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. The words erroneously repeated.

Rational, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.

Religion, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

Resign, v. To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.

Responsibility n: A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbour. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.

Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

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