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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

American satirist, critic, short story writer, editor and journalist. He is perhaps most famous for his serialized mock lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary.
(1842 - 1914)

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A man is known by the company he organizes.

A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.

A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distin-quished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.

Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.

Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.

Abstainer, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.

Absurdity, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

Achievement: The death of an endeavor, and the birth of disgust.

Acquaintance, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous
[Human Relations]

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
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Advice, n. The smallest current coin.

Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

Alone, adj. In bad company.

Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.

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