Bill Maher Quotes
An American stand-up comedian, television host, social critic, political commentator, author, and actor.
(1956 - )
|
|
|
|
A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out.
|
|
|
|
Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.
|
|
|
|
Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.
|
|
|
|
Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
|
|
|
|
Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.
|
|
|
|
Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.
|
|
|
|
I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
|
|
|
|
I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be on television every minute of every day - you're the president, not a rerun of 'Law & Order'. TV stars are too worried bout being popular and too concerned about being renewed.
|
|
|
|
I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush.
|
|
|
|
I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
|
|
|
|
I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
|
|
|
|
If you think you have it tough, read history books.
|
|
|
|
Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'
|
|
|
|
It's all been satirized for your protection.
|
|
|
|
Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.
[Religion]
|
|
|
|
Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.
|
|
|
|
Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
|
|
|
|
Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.
|
|
|
|
Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy land where reality is whatever we say it is and every problem can be solved with violence.
|
|
|
|
Men are only as loyal as their options.
|
|
|
|
|