Dr. Rick Kirschner Quotes
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Just as people choose what to wear from a variety of clothing styles (such as formal-wear, office-wear, or weekend-wear), so people choose from a variety of behaviors that are situationally dependent.
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My approach is behavior based rather than personality based, in that it is based on the useful assumption that a person's needs (and thus, style of communicating) change depending on the context (time of day, location, who they are interacting with, what they want or don't want, etc.) Sometimes more extroverted, sometimes more introverted. Sometimes more direct, sometimes more indirect.
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Not all situations are resolvable. And some are just not worth it. Cutting your losses remains a viable option when dealing with difficult behavior.
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Once you make an assumption (about yourself, about others, about situations, etc.) you inevitably will act as if your assumption is true. And your actions will have effects, in that you will find evidence in order to have the experience that your assumption is true.
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Persuasion finds it's power in meeting people where they are and then engaging them in such a way that they move with you when you move forward.
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Recognize that fear is as irrational as it is necessary, and perhaps wisdom is learning the difference about when to act on it versus when to act in spite of it.
[Fear]
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Remember, nature hates a vaccuum and you cannot replace something with nothing. That makes it more difficult to create positive change for you and for your organization. If you don't want him to do what he's doing, what behavior would you him to replace it with?
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Sometimes, that means you must accept the unacceptable, in order to move with it and take charge over it. Only then can you redirect whatever is aimed at you towards your desired result.
[Acceptance]
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That's why the challenge in life, and in communication specifically, is to define a direction, and organize yourself around that outcome. You need to know what you are aiming towards, what you intend to achieve, and why you intend to achieve it, or you just keep cycling back to the easy stuff, the complaints, problems, and obstacles that you can't seem to avoid.
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What if anything is possible, and all that's required of any of us is to be true to ourselves and find our next small step forward?
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Why more than one choice? Because if you only know one way to do something, you'll always have to do it, even if it doesn't work!
[Choice]
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You've got to know how to protect yourself from unscrupulous people with hidden agendas who use ignorance and emotion to bring about negative ends.
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