Dr. Rick Kirschner Quotes
An American author, speaker, and coach; co-author of the best-selling book, Dealing with People You Can't Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst
(1949 - )
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A good model allows us to do things, try things, organize our perceptions to find out useful and interesting things. And the cool thing about a model is that it doesn't have to be true, it just has to work..
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A person focused more on a task than on people may pay more attention to the end result of the task than the details they encounter along the way. ... A person focused more on people than on a task may express more interest in the opinions and feelings of others, or in their own opinions and feelings.
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A useful assumption gives you enough informed perspective on your own behavior and the behavior of others that you can engage in behaviors that lead to worthwhile outcomes. A limiting assumption holds you back, ties you down, and traps you into self-defeating and counterproductive behavior.
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Change artists start with the really big What If's, and work their way back to the details of their own lives.
[Change]
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Change is inevitable, but progress is not.
[Change]
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Couples who build their relationships on the common ground of values can survive all kinds of life cycle events, even thrive, in spite of the differences that inevitably arise. But couples that lack shared values are likely doomed, regardless of how much else they have in common, to fight over and eventually move away from each other because of the lack of this basic bond.
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Don't get mad. Get smart!
[Anger]
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Every question, every statement, has a consequence and in this way you can and do shape the thoughts of others. You always have an impact!
[Consequences]
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Every time you ask a question or make a statement to someone, you are participating in his or her thought process.
[Thought]
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First, change your attitude, and then change your behavior. To change your attitude, and thus stop suffering, you must learn to look, think and feel differently about difficult behavior.
[Attitude]
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Flexibility means having more than one choice, and getting feedback instead of failure.
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How are you going to change what you're doing in the present in order to get that different outcome in the future?
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I believe the most powerful common ground in relationships is that of shared values. If you and another person believe or think the same kinds of things and experiences are important, you'll be able to work together to problem solve and share the positive results after. If you deem the same things to be the important things, when divisions arise, your shared values will hold you together.
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I'm sure you've heard the saying, "Think outside the box." Here's my version of that. 'Don't get in the box in the first place.'
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If all you know is what you don't want, you will get more of it
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If there's going to be a future worth living in, I think you will find more than enough agreement from most everybody that much needs to change.
[The Future]
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If you don't want 'that', what do you want?
[The Future]
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If you have to be right, you're doing it wrong.
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In your life, think of the opportunities squandered, the resources wasted, and the money and income lost because the right person at the right time lacked the persuasive skill to persuade the key people to take the necessary actions.
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It's based on my observation that people do what they do for a good reason. Even the worst behaviors serve a purpose the person considers a good one.
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