> Author Index > D - Authors > Ellen DeGeneres Quotes

Ellen DeGeneres Quotes


An American stand-up comedienne, television hostess and actress.
(1958 - )

Pages: 12Next

But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get our priorities straight. I think we all know what's really important in life - winning an Oscar.
 

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
 

I have a terrible problem with procrastination... a friend told me, "Well, you should go to therapy. And I thought about it, but then I said, "Wait a minute. Why should I pay a stranger to listen to me talk when I can get strangers to pay to listen to me talk?" And that's when I got the idea of touring.
See quote detail

I remember one day I was coming home from kindergarten I--well, I thought it was kindergarten, it turned out later I'd been working in a factory for two years... I was wondering 'cause it was always really hot and everyone was older than me, but, um, what did I know?
See quote detail

I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.
 

I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.
 

I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from... you heterosexuals.
 

I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
See quote detail

I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I'm gonna rip it off.
 

If we don't want to define ourselves by things as superficial as our appearances, we're stuck with the revolting alternative of being judged by our actions, by what we do.
See quote detail

In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
 

Just go up to somebody on the street and say "You're it!" and then run away.
 

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
[Funny]
 

Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.
 

Now we have hands-free phones, so you can focus on the thing you're really supposed to be doing ... chances are, if you need both of your hands to do something, your brain should be in on it too.
See quote detail

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
[Funny]
 

Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
See quote detail

Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.
 

We're told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?
See quote detail

Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.
 


Pages: 12Next