Finley Peter Dunne Quotes
A Chicago-based U.S. author, writer and humorist.
(1867 - 1936)
|
|
|
|
A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
|
|
|
|
A firm belief atthracts facts. They come out iv holes in the ground an' cracks in th' wall to support belief, but they run away fr'm doubt.
[Religion]
|
|
|
|
A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.
|
|
|
|
A man's idee in a card game is war- crool, devastatin' and pitiless. A lady's idee iv it is a combynation iv larceny, embezzlement an' burglary.
|
|
|
|
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
|
|
|
|
An appeal is when ye ask wan court to show its contempt for another court.
|
|
|
|
Comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.
|
|
|
|
Don't jump on a man unless he is down.
|
|
|
|
I see gr-reat changes takin' place ivry day, but no change at all ivry fifty years.
|
|
|
|
It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.
|
|
|
|
It is more comfortable to feel that we are a slight improvement on a monkey than such a fallin' off fr'm th' angels.
|
|
|
|
Many a man that couldn't direct ye to th' drug store on th' corner when he was thirty will get a respectful hearin' when age has further impaired his mind.
[Age]
|
 |
|
|
Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.
|
|
|
|
No matter whether the Constitution follows the flag or not, the Supreme Court follows the election returns.
|
|
|
|
One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.
|
|
|
|
Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.
[Opportunities]
|
|
|
|
Th' affiction iv th' American people is always aimed thrue an' is invaryable fatal.
[Affection]
|
|
|
|
Th' prisidincy is th' highest office in th' gift iv th people. Th' vice-prisidincy is th' next highest an' the lowest. It isn't a crime exactly. Ye can't be sint to jail f r it, but it's a kind iv a disgrace.
|
|
|
|
The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.
|
|
|
|
The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.
|
|
|
|
|