Fran Lebowitz Quotes
An American journalist.
(1951 - )
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All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable. The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one's soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive - you are leaking.
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Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
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Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke.
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
[Children]
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Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
[Being]
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Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
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Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
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Do not elicit your child's political opinions. He doesn't know any more than you do.
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Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.
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Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
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Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable expectations and eventual disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around the room with royal-blue chickens.
[Education]
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
[Balanced]
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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