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George Burns Quotes

George Burns, born Nathan Birnbaum, was an American comedian, actor, and writer.
(1896 - 1996)

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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

At my age flowers scare me.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family ... in another city.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

How can I die? I'm booked.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

I look better, feel better, make love better, and I'll tell you something else ... I never lied better.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

I stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

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