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Irvin S. Cobb Quotes





A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.
 

A good storyteller is a person who has a good memory and hopes other people haven't.
 

A good storyteller is a person with a good memory and hopes other people haven't.
 

A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.
 

An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been discontinued.
 

As I understand it, sport is hard work for which you do not get paid.
[Work]
 

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.
[Humor]
 

I've just learned about his illness; let's hope it's nothing trivial.
 

If a woman likes another woman, she's cordial. If she doesn't like her, she's very cordial.
[Women]
 

If writers were good businessmen, they'd have too much sense to be writers.
 

Middle age: when you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms.