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Jacob Braude Quotes

By the time a man can afford to lose a golf ball, he can't hit that far.

Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it.

Father reading report card: One thing in your favor - with these grades, you couldn't possibly be cheating.

Marriage is like a violin. After the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached.

she: Before we got married, you told me you were well-off. he: I was, and I didn't know it.

speaker: I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin. voice in back: Begin at the ninth.

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a male is when he's a baby.

There's another advantage in being poor. The doctor will cure you faster.

You know you're getting older when you don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.