Joey Adams Quotes
Joey Adams, born Joseph Abramowitz, was an American comedian who was inducted into the Friars Club in 1977 and wrote the book Borscht Belt in 1973.
(1911 - 1999)
|
|
|
A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
[Marriage]
|
|
|
|
Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in your pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors.
[Money]
|
|
|
|
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
|
|
|
|
I want to die like my grandfather died . . . peacefully in his sleep. Not like the other three people screaming in the car.
|
|
|
|
If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.
|
|
|
|
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.
|
|
|
|
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
[Marriage]
|
|
|
|
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
|
|
|
|
People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want a week's pay for it.
|
|
|
|
Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'
|
|
|
|
Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.
|
|
|
|
The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win.
|
|
|
|
|
|