Josh Billings Quotes
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What should we do if it want for the churches? Thare iz a plenty ov people who kant worship God only in a church. If they were out in a field on the Sabbath day they would at once bekum lawless, and fall to digging out woodchucks or hunting for bumblebees' nests.
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When a doktor looks me square in the face and kant see no money in me, then i am happy.
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When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.
[Advice]
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When a man gets talking about himself, he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime.
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When i cum akrost people who are perfeklty krazy for ventilashun, i say to miself, "that kritter was brought up in a windmill."
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When i see a poor, and proud aristokrat, purtiklar about punktillio, he alwus puts me in mind ov a drunken man, trieing tew walk a crack.
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Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.
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Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.
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Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words.
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You can buy a pretty good dog with a lot of money, but you can't buy the wag of its tail.
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Yung man, don't grind yure scythe all on one side!
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