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Les Dawson Quotes

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.