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Mark Twain Quotes


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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
[Religion]

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.

It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him.

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
[Prudence]

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.

It is easier to stay out than get out.

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.

It isn't so astonishing, the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things I can remember that aren't so.
[Memory]

It may be called the Master Passion, the hunger for self-approval.

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together to hurt you to the heart; the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.

It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
[Business]

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
[America]

It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horseraces.
[Opinion]

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
[Sports]


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