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Quentin Crisp Quotes

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Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level.

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

Living en famille provides the strongest motives for rudeness combined with the maximum opportunity for displaying it.

Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone- but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.

Manners are love in a cool climate.

Many [hooligans] discover to their shame that they have scruples; they have roots and, greatest disadvantage of all, they have hope. The fathers superior of the order do not try to influence their children in Satan; they merely shake their heads in sorrow. They know that the apostate must work out his own damnation.

Mass-murderers are simply people who have had ENOUGH.

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

Michelangelo worked from within. He described not the excitements of touching or seeing a man but the excitement of being Man.

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin.

Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.

Posing was the first job I did in which I understood what I was doing.

Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.

Sometimes I wore a fringe so deep it obscured the way ahead. This hardly mattered. There were always others to look where I was going.

Teaching is for teachers, not students... and if you'd known that when you were at school, all of your suffering would have been at least explicable.

The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.

The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.

The distinction between indoors and outdoors, which in England is usually so marked, was temporarily suspended in a hot gauzy haze.

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