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Todd Barry Quotes

A Jewish American stand-up comedian, actor and voice actor, known for his "laid-back" stage manner.
(1964 - )

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And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy.

Anyone who bombs is my friend.

Buddha, much like everyone else has good and bad days.

I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up.

I basically did comedy there for about a year, and then moved to New York. If I had it to do over again, I would have booked myself on the road for at least a year.

I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there's not a lot of teaching involved in that.

I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport.

I don't feel I'm even worthy of a normal amount of value.

I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.

I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate.

I got access to a private tour of the zoo. I got to go in a cage with a koala, which I highly recommend.

I guess there seems to be clubs opening up again, which is strange.

I had some friends that tried it down there, and I went to a couple of open mics, and I just kind of got this... this sick urge to try it instead of just watching it.

I had temping jobs also. I liked the flexibility. There was no asking for time off; you just didn't work.

I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase.

I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed also.

I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable.

I loved Australia. I was very successful there.

I mean, I guess I realized subconsciously that this is what I should be doing before I realized it, consciously. Verbally, I don't think I had committed to it, even though I was driving everywhere, every night, just trying to get on stage.

I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stage.

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