W. C. Fields Quotes
Born William Claude Dukenfield, was an American Actor and Comedian.
(1880 - 1946)
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
[Money]
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
[Attitude]
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
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Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
[Against]
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Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
[Funny]
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
[Funny]
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I exercise self-control and never touch any beverage stronger than gin before breakfast.
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