W. S. Gilbert Quotes
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A source of innocent merriment! Of innocent merriment.
[Merriment]
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And so do his sisters and his cousins and his aunts! His sisters and his cousins Whom he reckons up by dozens, And his aunts!
[Relative]
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And whether you're an honest man, or whether you're a thief, depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.
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Darwinian Man, though well-behaved, At best is only a monkey shaved!
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Did nothing in particular And did it very well.
[Action]
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For he might have been a Rooshian A French or Turk or Proosian, Or perhaps Italian. But in spite of all temptations To belong to other nations, He remains an Englishman.
[England]
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He did nothing in particular, And did it very well.
[Efficiency]
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I always voted at my party's call, And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.
[Party]
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I am not fond of uttering platitudes In stained-glass attitudes.
[Oratory]
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If you wish in this world to advance Your merits you're bound to enhance; You must stir it and stump it, And blow your own trumpet, Or, trust me, you haven't a chance.
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My object all sublime I shall achieve in time - To let the punishment fit the crime.
[Punishment]
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No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have - and I think he's a dirty little beast.
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Now landsmen all, whoever you may be, If you want to rise to the top of the tree. If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool, Be careful to be guided by this golden rule - Stick close to your desks and never go to to sea, And you may all be Rulers of the Queen's Navee.
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Of that there is no manner of doubt - No probable, possible shadow of doubt - No possible doubt whatever.
[Doubt]
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Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold And the mate of the Nancy brig, And a bo'sun tight and a midshipmate And the crew of the captain's gig.
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Perhaps if you address the lady Most politely, most politely, Flatter and impress the lady Most politely, most politely, Humbly beg and humbly sue, She may deign to look on you.
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See how the Fates their gifts allot. For A is happy - B is not. Yet B is worthy, I dare say, Of more prosperity than A.
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Things are seldom what they seem, Skim milk masquerades as cream.
[Appearance]
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When every blessed thing you have is made of silver, or of gold, you long for simple pewter.
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