> Author Index > A - Authors > Woody Allen Quotes

Woody Allen Quotes

Pages: Prev 1234567Next

I am two with nature.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I can't express anger. That's my problem. I internalize everything. I just grow a tumor instead.

I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

I don't believe in God. Just try getting a plumber on the weekend.

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.

I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you meet a lot of interesting people, you travel a lot.

I think that people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics.

Pages: Prev 1234567Next