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Woody Allen Quotes


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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
[Action]
 

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
 

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
 

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
 

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
 

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
 

You know a lot of geniuses, y'know. You should meet some stupid people once in a while, y'know, you could learn something.
 

You want to make God laugh? Tell him your future plans.
[Religion]
 


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