Funny Quotes
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Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
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We had a very successful trip to Russia we got back.
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We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.
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We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
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Why did God make man before he made woman? Because he didn't want any advice on how to do it.
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Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
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Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water!
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Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.
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You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
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You're only as good as your last haircut.
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