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Religion Quotes

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When a religion is good, I conceive it will support itself; and when it does not support itself, and God does not take care to support it so that its professors are obliged to call for help of the civil power, 'tis a sign, I apprehend, of its being a bad one."

When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, didn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me.

When lip service to some mysterious deity permits bestiality on Wednesday and absolution on Sunday, cash me out.

When men cease to be faithful to God, he who expects to find them so to each other will be much disappointed.

When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion, it is called Religion.

When people cease to believe in God, they don't believe in nothing; they believe in anything.

When religion is made a science there is nothing more intricate; when it is made a duty, there is nothing more easy. If we make religion our business, God will make it our blessedness.

When the missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said "Let us pray." We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Where true religion has prevented one crime, false religions have afforded a pretext for a thousand.

Whether religion be true or false, it must be necessarily granted to be the only wise principle and safe hypothesis for a man to live and die by.

While I cannot be regarded as a pillar, I must be regarded as a buttress of the church, because I support it from outside.

While men believe in the possibilities of children being religious, they are largely failing to make them so, because they are offering them not a child's but a man's religion - men's forms of truth and men's forms of experience.

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!

With soap baptism is a good thing.

Yes, I am a Jew, and when the ancestors of the right honourable gentlemen were brutal savages in an unknown land, mine were priests in the Temple of Solomon.

You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.

You cannot believe in God until you believe in yourself.

You have no security for a man who has no religious principle.

You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.

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