Statistics Quotes
These are some of the best 'Statistics' quotations and sayings.



79.84% of all statistics are made up on the spot. The other 42% are made up later on.




An unsophisticated forecaster uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts  for support rather than for illumination.




And if you're happy knowing the mean, and not knowing the distribution, well then I will gladly bet you $20 that the next person through that door will have an above average number of legs.




Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.




Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.




Do not put your faith in what statistics say until you have carefully considered what they do not say.




Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.




Half of the people in the world are below average.




I can prove anything by statistics except the truth.




I could prove God statistically.




It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.




Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from nonpractitioners.




Oh, don't tell me of facts  I never believe in facts; you know Canning said nothing was so fallacious as facts, except figures.




On the average, everybody has one testicle.




Statisticians probably do it.




Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.




Statistics are like loose women, once you get them you can do anything you want with them.




Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.




Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.




Statistics: the mathematical theory of ignorance.




